If you had been using the proper concepts and still were as bad as you have been, you would have good reason to be depressed about your chances of ever being any good. But since you have never given your body a chance to try it the right way, you don’t know just what your potential might be. So instead of being annoyed at spending so much time on the wrong track, you should be excited about finally getting on the right track. I think you will start to make some tremendous progress once we spend some time incorporating your new conceptions into good mechanics and correct feel.