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“Demanding that golf instruction be kept simple does not make it simple–only incomplete and ineffective. Unless this is recognized, golf remains a vague, frustrating, infuriating form of exertion.” Homer Kelley, The Golfing Machine
Wayne (The Teacher): “So, how are you today, Mr. S? We haven’t had a lesson together before, so tell me about your game. What kind of handicap are you playing to these days?”
Mr. S. (The Student): “I’m a 22, but I’m trending to a 21.”
Wayne: “And about how long have you been playing?”
Mr. S.: “Oh, I’d say about 10 years, give or take.”
Wayne: “Have you taken lessons before?”
Mr. S.: “A couple, but not for a few years. The guy I took from disappeared. I think he went into the insurance business. He told me I had potential.”
Wayne: “So why start with the lessons again? Are you having some specific trouble with your game?”
Mr. S.: “No, not really. I feel pretty good about my play overall, I just would like to be more consistent. But I have to be honest with you, I’ve been avoiding taking a lesson from you because I hear you’re pretty technical and you’ll try to change everything in my swing.”
Wayne: “Let me get this straight. You usually shoot somewhere around 95, but you want to shoot 95 every single time instead of 90 one time and 100 the next?
Mr. S.: “Well , no, I mean I would like to shoot better scores all the time. I really do want to get better. I just don’t want to start over from scratch. Can’t you just work with what I’ve got instead of changing everything? If I start thinking about too many things I can’t play at all.”
Wayne: “You mean you shoot 105 instead of 95?”
Mr. S.: “Or worse.”
Wayne: Well, we certainly don’t want that. Look, let’s see how you’re doing right now. Why don’t you hit a few balls for me and I’ll film them so we can take a look and see what’s up with your swing.”
Mr. S.: “What club should I hit?”
Wayne: “Try a 6 iron.”
Mr. S.: “A 6 iron? I’ve never used a 6 iron.”
Wayne: “You’ve never used a 6 iron? How can you play golf for 10 years and never use a 6 iron?”
Mr. S.: “I don’t know. I always liked my 7 and my 5. There was never any reason to use a 6. I think I tried it once, but it felt funny so I didn’t use it again.”
Wayne: “Alright then, use a 7, but you ought to use your 6 sometimes. It really is a good idea to become friendly with all your clubs.”
Mr. S.: “Oh yeah? There’s a bunch of them in there I don’t think I’ve ever used. I wouldn’t know when to hit them.”
Wayne: “Whatever. O.K. now, go ahead and hit a few.” (Mr. S. gets ready to thrash one without bothering to glance up. He’s aiming off the range about 100 yards to the right of any conceivable target.)
Wayne: “Hold on, Mr. S.: What’s your target?”
Mr. S.: (Thinks for a moment) “The ball.”
Wayne: (Stifliing a laugh) “Very good. I mean out there.”
Mr. S.: “Oh. Well, yeah, I was trying to hit it out there.”
Wayne: “I mean a specific target. Like one of those flags, or a tree.”
Mr. S.: “Alright. How about that tree?” (Points at the surrounding forest.)
Wayne: “Which one?”
Mr. S.: “The one with the different colored leaves”. (The trees are indistiguishable)
Wayne: “How about the tallest one?”
Mr. S.: “O.K., fine. Now can I swing?”
Wayne: “Sure, fire away.” (Mr. S. proceeds to aim 100 yards to the right of the big tree.) “ Oops, hold on there Mr.S.. Let me drop this club across your toes so we can see where you’re aiming. Now, come on back here and look.”
Mr. S.: “I guess I’m a little to the right.”
Wayne: “A little to the right? You’re off the golf course. I’m going to line you up correctly and I want you to set up again. (Moves the club to a correctly aligned position and has Mr. S set up parallel to it.)
Mr. S.: “ This can’t be right.” (Moves the club aside and shuffles his feet back to 100 yards to the right.) “ There, that’s better.”
Wayne: “No, no, you need to hit it lined up at the target. Now, leave the club where I put it.”
Mr. S.: “I can’t hit with the stick there. It bothers me.”
Wayne: “You need the guide there. Otherwise you can’t aim.”
Mr. S.: “Look, you’re probably right, but I’m telling you I can’t hit it with that club in the way.”
Wayne: “It’s not in the way. Now hit the ball.”
Mr. S.: (Makes a swing and tops the ball.) “See, I told you.”
Wayne: “Alright then, get rid of the stick. Hit another one.” (Sets up to another shot.) O.K., hold it a minute, let’s look at this grip of yours.” (Mr. S.’s grip looks like he’s wielding a jackhammer.)
Mr. S.: “Oh, no, you’re not going to change my grip, are you?”
Wayne: “Just let me show you a decent grip. It really does make the whole thing much easier.” (Adjusts Mr. S.’s grip to a classic 3-knuckle overlap.)
Mr. S.: “That’s the grip? You must be kidding. I can’t hold the club like that. I’ll whiff it. It’s not comfortable. Look, I’ve gotten this far with my grip, I should just keep it the way it is. You know, I have to play tomorrow, and next week is the Mixed Twilight. I really can’t be doing a bunch of new stuff. If I think too much out there, I’m dead.”
Wayne: “Leave the grip the way I set it and hit one.” (Mr. S. swings and hits a dead shank that almost hits a neighboring ball-beater.)
Mr. S.: “See? No one could hit it with that grip. It’s not comfortable. Now can I hit one my way?”
Wayne: (Exasperated). “Fine, knock yourself out. I mean, yes, go ahead and hit one any way you’d like.” (Mr. S. swings and hits a drop- kick toe hook that barely gets in the air and rolls about 140 yards, violently twisting his soft-spikes into the turf and finishing with his head between his arms.)
Mr. S.: “See? That was a good one, and I didn’t have to change a thing. Now you just need to get me to do that every time. (Glances at his watch.) Look, I know this was supposed to be a half-hour lesson, but I have to run. I’ve got surgery in an hour.”
Wayne: “You’re going to have surgery in an hour?”
Mr. S.: “No, I’m going to perform surgery in an hour. I’m a neurosurgeon.”
Wayne: “You ‘re a brain surgeon?”
Mr. S.: “Yes, but my schedule is pretty flexible, so what say we set up a lesson a week for the rest of the year? I like the way you teach. I really think you can help me.”
Wayne: “Whatever you say, Dr. S.”
Dr. S.: “And by the way, I’ve got to get my wife over to you. She really needs a lot of help.”