It is not hard to see why a teaching pro who achieves a decent level of success (meaning a busy lesson book) would play less competitive golf or stop playing altogether. First there is the opportunity cost, as missing a day of work could mean more $ than finishing first in whatever tournament there is to play in that causes you to miss that day. Second is the price of entry and travel expenses, which you never hear about when the Tour is discussed. For a club pro paying a couple hundred dollar entry and then finding a hotel room can run up a fair sized tab, and couple that with the negative of missing work you have a pretty sizable net loss. There is never any guarantee that you will cash at the tourney, and as the teaching schedule takes more and more time away from practice and you find the quality of your game slipping it is hard to look forward to going out to beat it around against guys who may be able to play and practice more than you. Add that a lot of teachers were never great players in the first place and you have lots of guys who don’t play at all, which means no need to discuss bad scores, missed cuts and generalized failures.
I have always tried to manage my time as best I could to balance a busy teaching schedule, time with the family, and time to prepare for tournament golf (which means practicing and playing in whatever time is left). I was able to do this quite successfully for about 15 or 16 years, but when my back started to act up more seriously back in 2008 after the PGA Senior Championship at Oak Hill I have struggled to maintain the level of play that I had become accustomed to. I have thought about winding down and more or less retiring from playing, but now with the website I feel that I still have that obligation that I once (and still do to an extent) had for my students to get out and put myself in harm’s way by teeing it in major events (both club pro and Tour level) and posting scores. The disappointments are many. The good rounds are few, and even those rounds have an element of discomfort, and sense that at any time the wheels may fall off. Still, that competitive fire burns and I find myself clicking the “enter” button on the tournament website, meaning that I had better make time to prepare if I want to make a decent showing.
This week at the MAPGA Section Championship, our biggest event, I surprised myself by playing my way into the second to last group of the final round with scores of 69 and 70. The players ahead of me were two former National PNC Champions and the other a runner-up, so here I was back in the company I am used to, even at age 55. Alas, in the final round my weaknesses, both physical and technique wise, caught up with me and I played the front 9 in 43 to shoot myself well out of contention. I recovered for 35 on the back 9 (never give up) but still the crushing feeling of failure is overwhelming. “Who needs it?” I ask myself, and yet I know that the answer is that “I do”, because the game and all that it takes to wrench a few successful moments is a part of my being and has been since I played in my first tournament at 12 years of age. One thing is for sure, if you can’t handle losing you won’t last as a competitive golfer, because in the end everyone loses but one person. Another thing is for sure, however, and that is that winning is unequalled in the feeling it gives you. There is no greater sense of accomplishment than to come out on top in a golf event, no matter what it is or what it means to someone else. If you care about how you play and you play well, there aren’t too many other things you can do to make you feel better about yourself and the work that you put into the game.
Sure, I lost, I tanked, but I was in there and had a chance. Unless you tee it up you can never have that feeling. As long as I can remain somewhat mobile I will be out there grinding away, maybe not in as many events as I used to play in but certainly in the big ones. And I will turn my scores in with pride no matter what they are. And if anyone wants to talk about “choking” or question the ability of someone who turns in that poor score I say that you don’t deserve to comment unless you are putting yourself under the gun as well. There is nothing harder in sports than playing golf at a high level in tournament conditions. I have had my moments in the winner’s circle, and I will not quit because it is unlikely that I will return there. Just like you can’t fail if you don’t play, you also can’t win if you don’t tee it up.